First Date Foibles

While I certainly can't guarantee you (or myself, for that matter) a second date, I can share with you some things that will guarantee you won't get one. Also, I love a list. So here goes...

How to Guarantee You Won't Get a Second Date

1. Mention what your and your date's future children will look like, what you will name them, and how you're completely okay with adopting children if your date is unable to bear his or her own children.
2. Try to get to second base. Or, Try to get to second base at a party in front of small children. You know, like you do...(or don't...if you're not still going through puberty!)
3. Pick up your date and offer him or her Ritalin to get the evening started off right.
4. If you're trying online dating, make sure your pictures clearly indicate you are six months pregnant. Otherwise, your date could be in for a shock when you show up glowing and eating for two.(This one probably just applies to women, but you never know.)
5. Mention your hatred of whatever gender your date is. Save that until at least the third date.
6. Use the word "tits" or any of its derivatives at least five times in the first fifteen minutes.
7. Offer your date a lap dance.
8. Bite your date.
9. Tell your date you can't wait to call him or her your boyfriend or girlfriend.
10. Lick your date's eyeball.
11. List in great detail all of your past suicide attempts.
12. Explain that you're a grad student at NC State. Then clarify and say you're really still an undergrad. Then clarify further and say you're actually not at NC State, but that you're attending Wake Tech. Wait for dessert and then explain that you're actually no longer at Wake Tech, but you are at least working. Next, mention your job is working as a waiter at Applebee's. When the meal is over, let your date know that you've recently quit your job at Applebee's, but that you are at least spending your time dreaming about your future career as a NASCAR driver, once you learn how to drive a fast car, and buy one. Of course, this is purely a hypothetical situation.
13. Smack your date on the ass.
14. Refuse to tell your date your real name.
15. Begin an in-depth discussion of your recent gastric bypass and/or lap band surgery.
16. Tell your date how important your child is to you and then find yourself at a loss as to when your child's birthday is or how old your child is.
17. Cry. For any reason.
18. Use finger puppets to communicate.

My hope is that this list is useful to you, as these are all things that have really happened.

Location Review - West End Wine Bar

Location - West End Wine Bar (601 W. Main Street, Durham NC)

Overall Rating: 3

Food: 3

Drinks: 5

Service: 3

Atmosphere: 3

Recommended for: First dates, drinks with friends and family.

Interestingly enough, when I went to West End a few weeks ago for a first date, I asked my date if he had any favorites on the wine list as he had chosen the date location (and also because he wasn’t making conversation). His response was that he doesn’t like wine, and he proceeded to order an Italian beer.

I know.

Anyway, it was a nice night, so I asked if we could sit outside. There were two other groups seated outside; one, a couple on a date (clearly not a first date, as they proceeded to make out a little bit later – though, I do suppose it could have been an AMAZING first date) and the other a pair of friends catching up. The PDA going on next to us was a little distracting, but it’s definitely not West End’s fault. Generally, I enjoy people watching when I’m out in Durham. Really, it’s one of my favorite pastimes anywhere, but there’s almost always something or someone fascinating to watch in Durham, more so than other places.

Except there is never any good people watching to be had at West End.

This has been my chief complaint in going there over the last few years. I love wine, so I want to love West End. Their hummus plate is pretty decent (it’s not the best I’ve ever had, but I generally don’t go to a wine bar for food; it’s good and gets the job done, keeping me satisfied without stuffing me so that I still have room to enjoy my fourth second glass of wine) and I’ve enjoyed a few other small plates there from time to time. They have a great selection of wine and I always get to try something new. But for whatever reason, the people who frequent there (except for my fabulous group of friends and myself, naturally) are just…well, they’re there. And that’s about all I can say. I can’t relate one funny story (that my friends and I didn’t create ourselves) or recall one funny moment I witnessed at West End, and while I know that those things are far from requirements for a first date, it is nice to have a decent crowd of interesting people around to comment on, in case the date goes south. I also can’t recall meeting and talking to any interesting people there, which if nothing else is a given in almost any bar or night spot in Durham.  I’m not sure why people don’t frequent it more, but there seems to be a drought of young and lively folk there. Sigh.

However, I do know that I will periodically go back anyway, hoping, wishing, dreaming that I will find amazing wine AND a lively time in one place.

So, I give West End three stars out of five. It is by no means a bad place for a date, but it’s not particularly noteworthy or amazing either. (Especially if you don’t like wine!)

What I Wore

Month: March
Weather: Warm to a little cool
Location: West End Wine Bar (Durham location)
Time: 7:30 p.m. Thursday night
On the agenda: Meeting for drinks
Date level: First


I really wanted to wear a skirt for this date, since it was nice outside and I kind of like my legs. However, none of my skirt options could be paired with appropriate footwear, so pants it was.


I work medium wash denim with button flap pockets (I can't locate the original pair, but this is a close approximation - just imagine the wash a tad lighter).

(Hudson Signature Boot Cut in Dark Wash)

Because it was newly spring (and spring always awakens my secret love of nautical wear), I decided to pair the jeans with an orange tank, navy sweater, and some gold jewelry. (see also: my other car is a yacht)

My orange tank was from Loft and was a brighter shade of orange, but it was gauzy like this one, so you get the idea.

(Patterson J. Kinkcaid Women's Micky Tank Top)

(Banana Republic Embellished Open Cardigan)

I carried a navy clutch with gold and silver studs that I bought from Loft a few springs ago. (and of course there isn't a picture of it online either). The bag below - from Etsy - is pretty darn close.

(Navy Blue Vintage Leather Punk Rock Metal Stud Flap)

I finished the outfit off with my black Tahari Flynn leather pumps.

(Tahari Flynn Leather Pump)

I'd say there was nothing terribly offensive about the outfit, but it fell short of the mark. Or at least what I feel the mark should be. I don't inherently have a problem with navy and black together, but I only like it when it's deliberate. This looked more like "I had no other option" than "I'm playing with color." The blues in the navy and denim worked okay together, but I'm very particular about mixing blues, especially with denim, so I wasn't really satisfied there either. Were I to grade this date outfit, I'd give it a C-. (Note: It apparently didn't phase my date - he asked me out for a second date. So there's that.)

What I Wore

(I typically get annoyed with the "what I wore" posts on blogs, maybe because of the poses people take when photographing their outfits. So, that's not how this is going to work. I plan on posting images of the clothing, sans moi.)


Month: April
Weather: Cool
Location: The Federal
Time: 8:00 p.m. Saturday night
On the agenda: Meeting for drinks
Date level: First

Grey cashmere cardigan (very light, but just enough warmth for a cool spring evening). I'm not sure grey is a great spring color, or a "notice me color" for a first date, but it's super cute, flattering on me, and I feel so relaxed and comfortable in it that it seemed like a good choice. (Note: the picture below isn't the exact sweater I wore, but it's the closest I could find. My sweater came from Marshall's. I love a deal.) I also wore dark, straight leg jeans, not all that extraordinary, but good basics, so they looked close to those that the sweater is paired with.

(robbi and nikki heather wool-cashmere chiffon detail cardigan sweater from blue fly)

I paired the neural outfit with my red Jessica Simpson pumps, which always make me feel confident and usually get a few compliments thrown my way.

(Jessica Simpson Callie)

Underneath the cardigan, I wore this basic old navy tank in white (shown below in teal). It doesn't look like much, but unbutton the top two buttons and you show just a hint of cleavage without giving anything away.

(Old Navy Women's Ribbed Knit Henley Tank)

I carried my Micahel Kors Berkley clutch - another absolute steal at Marshall's.

(Michael Kors Berkley clutch)

I topped it off with just some simple silver studs, a silver bracelet, and a red floral scarf from Loft (I couldn't find it online anymore, but the one below is similar and very pretty, and it's from Etsy!)

(Red Floral Scarf from TotallyScarves on Etsy)

I wore my hair down and naturally wavy, and I felt comfortable, beautiful, and, dare I even say it...a little sexy? The casual nature of the outfit made it great for the Fed and a first date, the red pumps made it date-worthy, and the scarf kept a little spring in it despite the cooler weather at night. (Plus, the cashmere sweater was perfect for the end-of-the-night hug!)